Well i noticed that in my first two drafts i included a lot of things so what i will do is take out some parts that are not that important and i will add parts in that are more import like were my husband left to go. I even did not include telling i have a lot of showing because when i was writing the essay i was a little unclear on what telling and showing was and i thought that what i was doing was wrong. But when the teacher look over my draft he actually told me that i was doing way more showing and no telling at all so with the finally draft i will try to take out some showing parts and add in a few telling scenes just to get to the point fast because with showing you are taking a longer time getting to the point and people will start to get bored of reading because it is taking to long to get the point across.Other than the problems that i just pointed out i believe that my finally draft is going to be good.
Writing this creative nonfiction essay is both hard and easy at the same time. I am still a little confused on the showing and telling scenes but i listened to what my teacher told me and he said if i read it and can draw a picture than its showing but i still need help with it. What i am doing for this essay is i'm starting from the beginning of the month of February and telling everything that happened with my husband going away for training. The way i do this is i go to my room and think about all the things that has happened to me me this month while i was in this room. It worked for me for my intro so i wonder if it would also work for me if i go down stairs into the dinning room. Its like every room has a memory and when i am in a certain place they start to come to me.
Geneva Holbrook Eng 100 Essay 1 creative nonfiction As i drive home from picking up my food from boston market I call my husband. I ask him where he is. He tells me that he is still out we argue because i wanted him to be home before i got there so that we could have a family dinner. Ten minutes past and i am pulling up into a spot in front of my door and i notice my husband walking up the steps. I would think that he will help me bring the food in the house but instead he continues walking and unlocks the door and walks in the house. I turn the car off take off my seat belt and get out the car. I opened the back door and grab the food from the back seat and lock and close both front and back doors. I walk into the house and go straight into the dinning room where i place the food on the table. I take my jacket off and start to set the table before i call anyone downstairs to eat. When i put the plates and silverware on the table i take my jacket and pocketbook and go upstairs. As i am walking up the steps getting closer to the landing i notice my husband sitting down on his ipad. I know that he is mad because i rushed him home so i walk in the room hang my jacket up and placed my bag down. I walk over to him and gently place my hand under his chin and lift it up so we could see each other eye to eye and i tell him that i love him. He pulls away and says it back i explain to him why i was mad and i tell him that im sorry i should act like this on his last night with me. I grab his hand and pull him so that he could stand up. He gets up and i hug him and squeeze him tight. I pull his hand and tell him to come eat. As we leave the room i yell for the rest of my family to come and eat . We get down stairs and go to the dinning room. I start to make his plate and mine and we sit down wait for everyone else to make theirs and we say grace and start to eat.
In this blog i will talk about the past week in class and also what has be going on with me at home For this past week in class we have learned more about creative nonfiction. we were in class and we watched the beginning of movies to kind of get a feel of how to do a creative piece. For instance we learned the structure of a creative essay. There are two parts there is a showing part and a telling part You start off with a opening scene with action description and showing what's happening. then you move on to the telling section where you give information context and background. For a homework assignment he told us to go to a familiar place and a strange place and write two showing scenes that depict an event from my everyday life.
So this weekend i went to my strange place which was my fathers house. His house is strange to me because i don't live with him and i am hardly ever at his house also because he has another family and it so much stuff that i am just not used to at his home. It is always so much going one people running in and out the house i just don't feel comfortable in that environment. Also this weekend was valentines day. this day just became special because my uncle got married and it was a beautiful wedding. My whole family was there it a joyful day no arguing just everybody altogether helping to make this day special for my uncle. This day I really did enjoy it was just that i wasn't with the one person i cared about the most i had no way to call him or text him. Him being away has really toke a toll on me because I'm so used to being with my husband on special days really everyday and this was the first time that we were not together and we couldn't talk to each other it sucks. But i went to stay the night at my grandmothers house because at her church it was family and friends so i went to church with her. Being at church with her that day really changed my mind about things. I understand what they talk about it makes sense to me now. Now i did accept God as my Savior when i was young but it was because i believed in him but i never really got the understanding of church because i was little i would fall asleep play around talk and even be on my phone. But this weekend when i went to church i felt older because i was understanding what they were talking about it was like i wanted to be there i wasn't forced to do so. this really shows that i have grown not just physically but mentally as well. |
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